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Here are your standidates for 2018 in no particular order.

SZA

instagram.com

Sounds like: A best friend confiding in you, but set over some baby-making R&B beats.

Song to listen to first: "Supermodel"

Stand-out lyric: "Leave me lonely for prettier women / You know I need too much attention for shit like that."

Why you'll stan: BuzzFeed Reader has called SZA's music "a black girl's tumblr come to life" as it's "self-questioning, self-affirming, and as relatable as it is personal."

youtube.com

Lizzo

instagram.com

Sounds like: Your mom's advice, only rapped, belted, and set to trumpets and trap beats.

Song to listen to first: "Good As Hell"

Stand-out lyric: "If he don't love you anymore / Just walk your fine ass out the door."

Why you'll stan: She's a body positive ICON.

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BROCKHAMPTON

instagram.com

Sounds like: If all the boys in detention got together and formed an unruly, zoo-like "boy band."

Song to listen to first: "BOOGIE"

Stand-out lyric: "Best boy band since One Direction / Makin' n*ggas itch like a skin infection."

Why you'll stan: The 12-member music collective uses its diversity to its advantage.

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Maggie Rogers

instagram.com

Sounds like: If a feminist woodland nymph got lost and ended up in New York City.

Song to listen to first: "Dog Years"

Stand-out lyric: "I count my time in dog years / Swimming in sevens, slow-dancing in seconds / Oh, and I'm the one that loves you."

Why you'll stan: She's a humble nature lover who somehow became an internet sensation, and she's not trying to fit into any molds anytime soon.

youtube.com

Billie Eilish

instagram.com

Sounds like: Airy, blue, glitchy confessionals.

Song to listen to first: "watch"

Stand-out lyric: "If we were meant to be / We would've been by now."

Why you'll stan: The 16-year-old singer-songwriter and dancer is focused on being unpredictable. Also, her middle name is Pirate.

youtube.com

Aminé

instagram.com

Sounds like: Buzzing neon rap with a sense of humor.

Song to listen to first: "Spice Girl"

Stand-out lyric: "I need a Spice Girl / Zig-a-zig-ah, fuck up my whole world / Pause when she talk, nothin' like old girl / Scary and Sporty, tell her what I want."

Why you'll stan: He's not afraid to sport glitter and makeup, and he openly challenges the shaming of mental illness in black culture.

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Chromeo

instagram.com

Sounds like: Pop-punky vocals meshed with bubbly, Daft Punk-esque synths.

Song to listen to first: "Juice"

Stand-out lyric: "Relationships ain't a democracy / I'm good if you just stay on top of me."

Why you'll stan: The Arab-Jewish duo puts aside their cultural differences and makes '80s-inspired electro-funk instead. They even played Coachella in 2014, but seem to be making an even bigger impression now.

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SOFI TUKKER

instagram.com

Sounds like: An entire European dance club made up of only two people.

Song to listen to first: "Best Friend"

Stand-out lyric: "I think that I'll keep loving you / Way past sixty-five / We made a language for us two / We don't need to describe."

Why you'll stan: They're a bookworm and an aspiring basketball player-turned DJ who make dance music, all while playing with genre and occasionally quoting Brazilian poets.

youtube.com

instagram.com

Sounds like: An honest, crackling voice that adds a fuzzy texture to flowy, stadium pop.

Song to listen to first: "Don't Leave"

Stand-out lyric: "I may not ever get my shit together / But ain't nobody gonna love you better."

Why you'll stan: The FADER wrote that she "finessed Anarchist punk life into global pop stardom."

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Pearla

instagram.com

Sounds like: A chest of your old childhood toys coming to life.

Song to listen to first: "Somewhere"

Stand-out lyric: "I can't tell the different between / Myself and the box of crayons I have used / To color in somebody's ghost."

Why you'll stan: The folk singer makes electronic music her own with her whimsical nature and wide-eyed honesty.

youtube.com

B.Miles

instagram.com

Sounds like: A comforting voice finding its way in a dark, glitchy void.

Song to listen to first: "Nine Matches"

Stand-out lyric: "If I swallow wickedness / Don't try to save me."

Why you'll stan: Her sound is dark and breathy, but digital and flirty in a way that's oh so 2018.

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Jidenna

instagram.com

Sounds like: Tropical dancehall that's the perfect blend of addictive, flirty, and easy-going.

Song to listen to first: "Boomerang"

Stand-out lyric: "Bang, bang, boomerang / Do you love or hate me now, babe."

Why you'll stan: The Nigerian-born singer-songwriter is a humble and creative gentleman/teddy bear!!! Also, Kendrick Lamar remixed his song "Classic Man" back in 2015, which is also crazy good.

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Bishop Briggs

instagram.com

Sounds like: A classic womanly crooner who repurposes spirituals into thick bass-y bangers.

Song to listen to first: "Wild Horses"

Stand-out lyric: "You call my truth in the worst way / Through the dirty lands of a broken smile / And I swear I'm not a pretender / Sometimes it's love who's the biggest liar."

Why you'll stan: She's invented her own genre, which she calls "soul-trap".

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Alina Baraz

instagram.com

Sounds like: THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT FALLING IN LOVE SOUNDS LIKE!!!

Song to listen to first: "Electric"

Stand-out lyric: "Melting like ice on a summer day / Hold me like you mean, take me far away / Bodies moving in, temperature rising / Take me to the top then watch me fall in."

Why you'll stan: She created her debut album over Facebook.

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Noname

instagram.com

Sounds like: R&B playing at a poetry club somewhere in Brooklyn.

Song to listen to first: "Diddy Bop"

Stand-out lyric: "This sound like Mississippi sippy cup, daddy turn bibby up /
Henny invented the catalyst for happiness in my cup."

Why you'll stan: Just watch her Tiny Desk Concert. Trust.

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Grace Mitchell

instagram.com

Sounds like: Indie feel-good accented with elements of trap and a low, brooding female voice.

Song to listen to first: "NoLo"

Stand-out lyric: "We tried to dance and you / Didn't wanna look uncool / You took my hand and I put my trust in you / Then you let it go."

Why you'll stan: Her androgyny is redefining the face and sound of the female pop star.

youtube.com

Duckwrth

instagram.com

Sounds like: The kind of clean, geometric, primary-colored music that plays in Forever 21. But cool.

Song to listen to first: "MICHUUL."

Stand-out lyric: "I just wanna art school chick / That really like foreign flicks / I just wanna (I just) / Boyfriend jeans and Vans for the kicks, that's still dumb thick."

Why you'll stan: The multitalented singer, rapper, and graphic designer finds his inspiration throughout different artforms and defines his style as "sporty cultural."

youtube.com

NIIA

instagram.com

Sounds like: Jazz and dark pop melted into each other and shape-shifted into a sexy mistress.

Song to listen to first: "Body"

Stand-out lyric: "You back off to stalk in / You come on strong to win / I let you in my skin."

Why you'll stan: She's been called a "chic outsider" in today's bubbly pop music scene.

youtube.com

And here's a Spotify playlist of all your 2018 standidates. Enjoy!

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“This year’s lineup is INSANE…”

So Coachella recently announced their 2018 lineup.

So Coachella recently announced their 2018 lineup.

Coachella

Coachella for dads:

Coachella for dads:

Band to see: No One Messing with the Thermostat

funnyordie.com

Coachella for people not going to Coachella:

Coachella for people not going to Coachella:

Band to see: Not Flossing

pleatedjeans.com / Via pleated-jeans.com

"Gaychella":

Band to see: Who's Rita Ora?

Instagram: @drinksforgayz

Coachella for collegiettes:

Coachella for collegiettes:

Band to see: Untagged Facebook Pics

hercampus.com

Coachella for things that elicit visceral reactions:

Band to see: Bitcoin explained to you by the worst possible person you can imagine from your old high school

Instagram: @jbl62

Coachella for calming audio stimulation:

Band to see: Subterranean Field Recordings

Instagram: @barbicastelvi

Coinchella:

Band to see: My Uncle Talking About Cryptocurrency Nonstop at Christmas Dinner (Not pictured.)

Instagram: @erinerin1

Coachella for things you'll definitely find at Coachella:

Band to see: Waiting Until You Get Back to the Hotel to Poop

Instagram: @alt987fm

And Coachella for people who were between the ages of 10 and 14 in 2006:

Band to see: Final Jam Winner: Peggy Dupree

Instagram: @brothersbearpodcast

No lies detected!

And honestly, did she lie?

And honestly, did she lie?

Juki / JKING / BACKGRID

Charli was given the hit she deserved with "I Love It" back in 2012:

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And "Boom Clap" did THAT back in 2014 with the help of The Fault In Our Stars:

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But it's time to give Charli XCX what she deserves: MORE.

But it's time to give Charli XCX what she deserves: MORE.

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Like, why didn't "Superlove" — one of Charli's MOST ICONIC TRACKS (feel free to @ me!!!!) — only chart in the UK?

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OH RIGHT! Because the general public has tragic taste!!!

OH RIGHT! Because the general public has tragic taste!!!

extratv.com

And why did we only pay attention to "Boys" when Charli paired it with hot men?

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OH RIGHT! Because the THIRSTY general public has tragic taste!!!

OH RIGHT! Because the THIRSTY general public has tragic taste!!!

extratv.com

So here's what we're going to do!!!! We're going to remedy this situation and we're gonna listen to Charli's latest underrated masterpiece, "Out Of My Head," from her new mixtape Pop 2:

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And while we're at it, we're going to listen to her collab with another underrated queen, Carly Rae Jepsen:

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And THEN, we're going to sign billion-year stan contracts and support her royal underratedness until she's no longer paid dust, BECAUSE US GAYS CAN'T DO IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

And THEN, we're going to sign billion-year stan contracts and support her royal underratedness until she's no longer paid dust, BECAUSE US GAYS CAN'T DO IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

NBC

Thank you for your underrated talents, Charli <3.

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♫ Mini beef tacos… ♫

Before you read on, you're gonna need to know the tune to "Eleanor Rigby" by the Beatles, so here it is:

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Sing it with me! Mini beef tacos

Sing it with me!  Mini beef tacos

Daniel Spenser

A little while back I heard the song on the radio and, instead of concentrating on what I was doing (driving a car over a gorge on two thin wooden planks), I started thinking about other names that could fit in place of Eleanor Rigby (Allison Williams, Dylan McDermott, Mackenzie Davis, etc.) and soon it devolved into any word/phrase that was five syllables... I got bored at Trader Joe's and remembered that the nation's deep thirst for content aligned with my desperate need for attention so I started taking pictures of all the five-syllable product names and people were into it.

Anyway, good luck going to Trader Joe's now without this song in your head.

Anyway, good luck going to Trader Joe's now without this song in your head.

Nancy T. / Via yelp.com

“Let’s keep this going all night.”

Steve Aoki and Lauren Jauregui teamed up to release the catchy club single, "All Night," and that's just how long it will take to get the song out of your head.

Steve Aoki and Lauren Jauregui teamed up to release the catchy club single, "All Night," and that's just how long it will take to get the song out of your head.

Brian Ziff

Lauren decides to hit up the club with her friends and of course, Steve is there spinning the records.

Lauren decides to hit up the club with her friends and of course, Steve is there spinning the records.

Ultra Music

Then Lauren locks eyes with a potential bae at the bar.

Then Lauren locks eyes with a potential bae at the bar.

Ultra Music

They attempt to meet face-to-face, but it's just too damn crowded in the club.

They attempt to meet face-to-face, but it's just too damn crowded in the club.

Ultra Music

So, they said fuck it and started crawling on the floor to get to each other.

So, they said fuck it and started crawling on the floor to get to each other.

Ultra Music

And what happens next? You'll just have to check out the full video to see how their stories end.

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“Her heart is huge.”

I cried a little while writing this post, so you've been warned. Let's start with the introductions. This is Miley Cyrus. You've heard of her.

I cried a little while writing this post, so you've been warned. Let's start with the introductions. This is Miley Cyrus. You've heard of her.

Isaac Brekken / Getty Images

This is Janice Freeman, a mom, cancer survivor, and contestant on season 13 of The Voice.

janicefreeman / Via instagram.com

mileycyrus / Via Twitter: @MileyCyrus

MileyCyrus / Via Twitter: @MileyCyrus

It was a VERY emotional elimination, but undeniably evident that Janice and Miley formed a very special bond, with both singers saying they'd do anything for the other.

It was a VERY emotional elimination, but undeniably evident that Janice and Miley formed a very special bond, with both singers saying they'd do anything for the other.

The Voice / Via youtube.com

PopCrave / Via Twitter: @PopCrave

janice_freeman / Via Twitter: @janice_freeman

"Miley, you are my dawg, like, my best friend, and I will defend you 'til the bitter end."

janicefreeman / Via instagram.com

While Miley hasn't directly addressed the deed itself, she's been supporting and encouraging Janice since.

While Miley hasn't directly addressed the deed itself, she's been supporting and encouraging Janice since.

mileynycyrus / Via Twitter: @MileyNYCyrus

My heart is so full of warm fuzzies, I need to lie down.

My heart is so full of warm fuzzies, I need to lie down.

stylishcyrus / Via Twitter: @StylishCyrus

mileycyrus / Via Twitter: @MileyCyrus

Justin Timberlake in the teaser video for Man of the Woods.

RCA / Via youtube.com

“It feels like mountains, trees, campfires, like Wild West, but now,” Jessica Biel intones, with great import, over a rapid montage of mountains, of trees, of campfires, and of her husband, Justin Timberlake, whose forthcoming album Man of the Woods is being teased with this video. Timberlake himself proclaims in voiceover that the album is “really inspired by my son, my wife, my family, but more so than any album I’ve ever written, where I’m from.”

Where’s Timberlake from? Most fans could tell you right away: not the Wild West, but the South. Specifically, a small town outside of Memphis, Tennessee, called Shelby Forest. He spent his adolescent years in Orlando, Florida, starring on the Mickey Mouse Club before moving onto teen idolhood as a part of NSYNC. In the years after, especially as he became more involved in Hollywood, he lived in Los Angeles. But over the past two years, Timberlake’s definition of “home” has expanded: Now it includes the tiny town of Leiper’s Fork, Tennessee, where he owns 126 acres of land an hour’s drive from Nashville; a $20 million Tribeca penthouse; and a home outside of Big Sky, Montana, in an exclusive residential community called the Yellowstone Club.

Few places live in the public imagination as signifiers of the West like Montana, a state that boasts unrivaled and largely unspoiled beauty, with just over a million residents spread over 147,000 square miles of land. It’s a place that unironically embraces the unofficial motto of “the last best place.”

But the immediate response to Timberlake’s video was ridicule: Montanans laughed at the notion that a multimillion-dollar home at a private ski resort, filled with other non-Montanans, would evoke “the Wild West”; others suggested that he’d watched The Revenant or listened to Bon Iver once and co-opted the signifiers. At The Outline, Ann-Derrick Gaillot argued that the video signaled Timberlake’s “rebranding as a white man,” laying out the ways in which Timberlake’s musical style and success would be impossible without black producers and black influence — and that this current move suggests a pivot to “pandering to a whiter America.”

RCA

Timberlake’s desire to return to “where he’s from,” and a corresponding fetishization of the West, is by no means novel: It’s the very heart of the Western myth, with its promise of wide open spaces where men can be men. But the comparison to Bon Iver points out how superficial Timberlake’s claim to that myth is: Justin Vernon’s woods were, in fact, the ones he grew up in; the cabin where he wrote For Emma, Forever Ago was his family’s. And the cult of Bon Iver has never not been centered in Vernon’s vulnerable, backwoods, falsetto-voiced masculinity.

By contrast, Timberlake’s out-of-nowhere embrace of the West comes at a pivotal point for his career — and for the place of white men in the public consciousness. Over the last five years, he’s had a child and passed the age of 35; his only hit was a forgettable paint-by-numbers pop song for the movie Trolls. He’s also weathered sustained criticism for acts of generalized thoughtlessness: an “I’m sorry you’re mad” apology when his wedding reception featured a homeless black man for laughs; another apology for a Twitter gaffe in which he blew off questions of appropriating black culture.

Twenty years ago, Timberlake launched his tremendously successful solo career with a dance and style borrowed heavily from black artists — and Michael Jackson in particular. Now, like so many white artists (Miley Cyrus, Macklemore, Iggy Azalea) who’ve built their fame at the intersection of hip-hop, R&B, and pop, his image and music are scrutinized, particularly in terms of racial dynamics and appropriation, in a way that Paul Simon and Madonna never were.

For Timberlake, who managed to avoid significant scandal in his early career (even while he grew up a teen star, dated Britney Spears, wore matching denim tuxedos with her on the red carpet, and transformed their breakup into a hit song) it’s a new reality. In many ways, he’s an old-school, classic Hollywood star, whose rise was facilitated by his own endless faith in his own charisma and its ability to get him whatever he wanted. It got him the girl; it got him the successful solo career after his embarrassing boy band gig; it got him Hollywood roles and, when those failed, even more Hollywood roles. It made him a member of the exclusive “Five-Timers Club” of Saturday Night Live hosts. He laughed off getting Punk’d by Ashton Kutcher; he put his dick in a box while dressed like a member of Color Me Badd. He exposed Janet Jackson’s breast on national television — earning CBS a $550,000 fine — and yet walked away more or less unscathed from a moment that effectively ended her career.

In 2012, he released a sprawling two-part album, the first half of which had an average song length topping seven minutes. Not since Bruce Springsteen released two albums on the same day, or Garth Brooks adopted an alter ego named Chris Gaines, has a white male artist been that assured of his own popularity.

The album cover for Man of the Woods.

RCA

But where does Justin Timberlake fit today? He’s no longer the moody Timberlake of “Cry Me a River” or the womanizing commitmentphobe of “My Love”; the upbeat swing of The 20/20 Experience feels like a remnant of the Obama years. When it was announced that Timberlake would perform at the halftime of the 2018 Super Bowl, the response was much less driven by anticipation of his performance than by those still waiting for #JusticeforJanet, or at least an apology for the way Timberlake abdicated responsibility for his role in “Nipplegate.”

Cue: Montana.

When rumors of Timberlake’s purchase of a home in the Yellowstone Club first began circulating in 2015, Us Weekly reported that the family’s move was motivated by a desire to protect their newborn son, Silas, from the surveillance and scrutiny of Hollywood. One “insider” told Us that Biel, who grew up in Boulder, Colorado, is “happiest when she’s in the mountains.” No mention, however, of Timberlake himself, who has spent the last two years promoting Trolls, filming a supporting role in Woody Allen’s Wonder Wheel, opening the Academy Awards with a rendition of “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” and performing at a handful of festivals.

On Jan. 2, he dropped the teaser trailer for Man of the Woods,” complete with Bon Iver–style symbology, and revealed the album’s cover, which literalizes his transformation from a man in a black and white suit to a man “of the woods.” On Friday, he released the album’s tracklist, featuring the song titles “Flannel,” “Montana,” “Livin’ Off the Land,” and “The Hard Stuff.”

@jtimberlake / Twitter / Via Twitter: @jtimberlake

Flannel! Seriously! Part of why the Western motifs of Man of the Woods feel so performative, so memeworthy, so laughable is that it doesn’t feel like a progression, or like something Timberlake’s been working toward, or a return to his roots. Instead, it’s the image equivalent of a trip to a dude ranch: an accidental projection of his greatest vulnerabilities, and a desire to immerse himself in a simple, elemental, mythical, masculine world that doesn’t ask hard questions or demand nuanced answers.

The West is Timberlake’s private world — and, he seems to suggest, a gateway to his “authentic” inner self — but it’s also a forum in which he gets to decide which questions are asked, and which ones he’d like to answer. There’s no paparazzi, after all, at Yellowstone Club; part of the reason celebs flock to it is because its exclusivity (membership is capped at 864 households) means that you don’t have to take your bodyguards on the ski lift. And as several people who’ve visited have told me, when Timberlake is in any of the club’s tony public spaces, guests are quietly asked not to “request selfies with Mr. Timberlake.”

Timberlake is fully in control of which images come out of his life in Montana, a stark contrast to New York, or Los Angeles, or even Tennessee, where documentation of his life and that of his family are at a premium. In Montana, he doesn’t have to endure the feminizing dynamics of celebrity culture in general and paparazzi surveillance in particular. In Montana, his life is his.

RCA / Via youtube.com

The teaser trailer condenses this idea to its most basic form. Just a minute long, it nevertheless features 49 shots, alternating swiftly between images of the natural landscape (sky, water, plants, horses, fire, mountains) and Timberlake: Timberlake enveloped by water, Timberlake kneeling in a snow-dusted field of cheatgrass, Timberlake walking through rows of corn.

There’s a quick shot of Timberlake nuzzling with Biel, whose bronzed face and quasi-cowboy hat connote the same sort of raw elemental-ness conveyed by the rest of the video. Same for one of the longest shots in the entire video: Timberlake, shirtless, holding a small child (presumably his son) close to his chest in front of a fire.

You can break down each of the shots in the teaser even further, but the overarching message is incredibly simple: The West is a place of authenticity, or regeneration, of fatherhood, of returning to the basics, of freedom, of control — all of which is to say, of unfettered manhood.

RCA / Via youtube.com

Timberlake isn’t the first pop star of his generation to deploy the backwoods masculinity pivot. In 2012, John Mayer retreated to a Montana ranch on the Yellowstone River, selling his homes in New York and Los Angeles. Mayer, like Timberlake, had found himself in an assortment of mini-scandals, also related to thoughtlessness when it came to comments on race (most infamously, “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist”). Mayer, too, said he wanted to extract himself from the paparazzi complex. At the same time, he underwent surgery on his vocal chords, which required months of vocal rest. He needed to literally stop speaking, and Montana was the perfect place to shut the fuck up.

When Mayer re-emerged, the press narrative centered on the ways that Montana had granted him distance from his reputation as an asshole. In an extensive interview with CBS Sunday in 2013, Mayer walks the host around his ranch in the winter, pointing out the various features of the Yellowstone River, before settling into a cozy, intimate tell-all. “It’s very liberating when you realize that it’s impossible to make everyone like you,” Mayer said, the snowy expanse of his ranch visible through the window behind him.

John Mayer points out landscape features around his Montana ranch.

CBS / Via youtube.com

“Big Sky Country is an ideal escape for a rock star trying to heal,” the narrator explains. Mayer was healing his vocal chords, but the larger implication is that the city — and fame — had made him into someone he wasn’t. “There’s all these struggles and stressors and conflicts every day [in the city] that you don’t even notice,” he told the Independent. “But waking up happy and going to bed happy, with contiguous happiness throughout the day, is very rare. You think: ‘I’m sure they’re saying my name somewhere. Somewhere, some hideously underpaid blogger is typing my name, and they’re either saying I’m great or I suck, but I don’t hear it and I don’t see it.’ It’s the most remarkable feeling I’ve ever had in my life – to be truly content, and to have that contentment not up for grabs by other people.”

What liberated Mayer — what made him return to himself, and his music, and the essence of what made him “a good man/with a good heart,” as the lead single from this 2012 album Born and Raised, “Shadow Days,” claimed — was distance, literal and figurative, from what other people thought of him. A place like Montana, where the voices are so far away he doesn’t have to listen to them.

The video for “Shadow Days” makes the journey literal: Mayer starts in the city, gets in his car, and drives West: first to Monument Valley, one of the most iconic markers of Westernness, and then up through Idaho and into Montana, stopping at various places to be alone, pluck at his guitar, and sing into the distance. Once out of the city, he starts interacting with normal people — he goes to a guitar shop in a small town, plays around, shakes some hands, slaps some backs — and buys some oil to fix his car himself.

Mayer buys the car oil himself in the video for "Shadow Days."

Columbia/Sony Music / Via youtube.com

These might not be the traditional markers of woods masculinity, but for someone like Mayer — best known for womanizing and/or writing sensitive songs like “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters” — it’s meant to signify a transformation. Same for the cover art for Mayer’s second post-Montana album, Paradise Valley, which places Mayer, dressed in a long coat that approximates a cowboy’s duster, staring into space, cowboy-ish hat on his head, while a black lab looks up attentively. (Like Timberlake, Mayer also, at one point, dons a Pendleton Blanket amid the Montana snow).

Sony Music

YAS to these bops.

"(You Drive Me) Crazy [The Stop Remix]" by Britney Spears

Best lyric: "Baby, you spin me around oh / The earth is movin', but I can't feel the ground."

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"Bye Bye Bye" by *NSYNC

Best lyric: "You may hate me but it ain't no lie / Baby bye bye bye."

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"Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera

Best lyric: "If you wanna be with me / Baby there's a price to pay / I'm a genie in a bottle / You gotta rub me the right way."

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"Where My Girls At?" by 702

Best lyric: "Tryin' to take my man / See I don't need that."

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"Man! I Feel Like A Woman!" by Shania Twain

Best lyric: "I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright / Gonna let it all hang out."

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"S Club Party" by S Club 7

Best lyric: "Gotta get moving can't be late / Gotta get grooving just can't wait."

youtube.com

"AM to PM" by Christina Milian

Best lyric: "Somebody hit the lights, so we can rock it day and night / People getting' down, that's right, from AM to PM."

youtube.com

"I Think I'm in Love With You" by Jessica Simpson

Best lyric: "I get kinda shaky when they mention you / I just lose my cool."

youtube.com

"...Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears

Best lyric: "My loneliness is killing me (and I) / I must confess, I still believe (still believe)."

youtube.com

"He Loves U Not" by Dream

Best lyric: "No matter what you do, he's never gonna be with you / He's into what he's got/He loves me, he loves you not."

youtube.com

"Wannabe" by Spice Girls

Best lyric: "If you want my future, forget my past / If you wanna get with me, better make it fast."

youtube.com

"No Srubs" by TLC

Best lyric: "So no, I don't want your number / No, I don't want to give you mine."

youtube.com

"My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion

Best lyric: "Love can touch us one time / And last for a lifetime / And never let go till we're gone."

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"Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira

Best lyric: "I'll be there and you'll be near / And that's the deal my dear."

youtube.com

"If You Had My Love" by Jennifer Lopez

Best lyric: "You say you want my love and you got to have it all / But first there are some things you need to know."

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"Barbie Girl" by Aqua

Best lyric: "You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere / Imagination, life is your creation."

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"Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" by Backstreet Boys

Best lyric: "And if you wanna party let me hear you yell / 'Cause we've got it goin' on again."

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"Heartbreaker" by Mariah Carey

Best lyric: "I should have known right from the start / You'd go and break my heart."

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"Jumpin', Jumpin'" by Destiny's Child

Best lyric: "But the party ain't gon' stop / So let's make it hot, hot."

youtube.com

"Playas Gon' Play" by 3LW

Best lyric: "Ballers, they gonna ball / Shot callers, they gonna call."

youtube.com

"Baby Come on Over" by Samantha Mumba

Best lyric: "Take a piece of my heart / And go from the start."

youtube.com

"Get This Party Started" by P!nk

Best lyric: "Get this party started on a Saturday night / Everybody's waitin' for me to arrive."

youtube.com

"Waiting for Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez

Best lyric: "Waiting for tonight, Oh / I've dreamed of this love for so long."

youtube.com

"Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, P!nk, and Mya

Best lyric: "Hey sistas, soul sistas / Betta get that dough sistas."

youtube.com

"Doesn't Really Matter" by Janet Jackson

Best lyric: "Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing / Cause I'm in love with the with the inner being."

youtube.com

"Everywhere" by Michelle Branch

Best lyric: "And when I wake you're never there / But when I sleep you're everywhere."

youtube.com

"Waterfalls" by TLC

Best lyric: "Don't go chasing waterfalls / Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to."

youtube.com

Listen to these jams here!

embed.spotify.com

PLUG IN MY NANO, BINCH!

"Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé

When to play it:

2008: When you swore to secrecy so your crush would tell you who he liked, and it wasn't you.

2018: When you put your blinker on to make a left turn.

youtube.com

"Umbrella" by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

When to play it:

2008: Whenever it rained.

2018: When people try to classify you under a specific discourse or stereotype.

youtube.com

"The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani feat. Akon

When to play it:

2008: While getting your hair wrapped on holiday with your fam.

2018: When you call the Uber.

youtube.com

"Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)" by Fergie

When to play it:

2008: While you were holding back tears behind your fade sunglasses.

2018: While you're trying not to cry in public because you're locked out of your apartment and your super won't answer your texts.

youtube.com

"Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin')" by T-Pain feat. Yung Joc

When to play it:

2008: When you ordered a Shirley Temple at Cheesecake Factory.

2018: When you pour more water into your cat's bowl.

youtube.com

"Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

When to play it:

2008: When you found out your crush had been AIMing another girl whenever he set his away message to "brb hw".

2018: When you're drunk and singing karaoke at a shitty college bar.

youtube.com

"Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's

When to play it:

2008: Whenever you saw that girl named Delilah from homeroom.

2018: When you're googling the Plain White T's to find out whatever happened to them...?

youtube.com

"I Wanna Love You" by Akon feat. Snoop Dogg

When to play it:

2008: When you were subtly flirting with your crush via Myspace questionnaires.

2018: When you're on a run sometimes.

youtube.com

"Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado

When to play it:

2008: While you strutted across the smokey dance floor toward your crush at a bat mitzvah.

2018: When you're hoping that cute guy will say hi to you at the local pirate-themed bar.

youtube.com

"Glamorous" by Fergie feat. Ludacris

When to play it:

2008: When you were putting on your vanilla-flavored Lip Smacker at your locker before social studies.

2018: When you finally get your fucking eyeliner decent.

youtube.com

"Don't Matter" by Akon

When to play it:

2008: At the end of the bat mitzvah when everyone had glow sticks and socks.

2018: When your cat bites you and you just wanted to cuddle for five seconds.

youtube.com

"Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

When to play it:

2008: When you found out your crush halfheartedly grinded with another girl while you were in the bathroom.

2018: When your dad brings his leggy divorce attorney home.

youtube.com

"Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5

When to play it:

2008: When the bat mitzvah dancers handed out the Kanye West glasses!!!

2018: When you stumble upon it on some random Spotify playlist.

youtube.com

"Party Like A Rockstar" by Shop Boyz

When to play it:

2008: When you were going over to your friend's house and you updated your Facebook status to "...is partying like a rOcKsTaR."

2018: Only ironically, if ever.

youtube.com

"Smack That" by Akon feat. Eminem

When to play it:

2008: By accident in your mom's minivan, but then you turned it off immediately because you were embarrassed by the vulgarity.

2018: In the Uber to the club, because you know your driver fux wit it too.

youtube.com

"This Is Why I'm Hot" by MiMS

When to play it:

2008: When you danced on a slightly elevated surface at the bat mitzvah in hopes that your crush would notice you.

2018: When you dance on a slightly elevated surface at the club in hopes that a sugar daddy will notice you.

youtube.com

"It's Not Over" by Daughtry

When to play it:

2008: When your mom came to pick you up from the sleepover.

2018: When American Idol returns in March.

youtube.com

"Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by Soulja Boy Tell'em

When to play it:

2008: Right after the catered chicken tenders were served in order to get all the kids back on the dance floor at the bat mitzvah.

2018: When showing the kids you babysit the original whip and nae nae.

youtube.com

"Fergalicious" by Fergie

When to play it:

2008: During your 30 minutes of screen time after you finished your homework.

2018: When he asks if you can rap.

youtube.com

"The Way I Are" by Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson

When to play it:

2008: LITERALLY WHENEVER.

2018: LITERALLY WHENEVER!!!!!!!!!!!

youtube.com

Here's the full playlist so that you can ring in 2018 with these timeless bops:

embed.spotify.com

“Life is full of sweet mistakes / And love’s an honest one to make.”

From "Hard Feelings/Loveless" by Lorde
loladewit

Getty Images

From "If I Dare" by Sara Bareilles
stephkirstena

From "Get Free" by Lana Del Rey
oribby

From "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" by Taylor Swift
jordanp4b7c8ed30

From Chance The Rapper's verse in "I'm the One" by DJ Khaled
allidoesart

From "Worst In Me" by Julia Michaels
minihamm9

From "Gucci Gang" by Lil Pump
fartconnoisseur

Getty Images

From "Woman" by Kesha
laurenmatte11

From "Eyes Closed" by Halsey
currieke

From "Sign of the Times" by Harry Styles
mahoganygattis

From "It Ain't Me" by Kygo & Selena Gomez
kayeclarks

From “Wild Horses” by Bishop Briggs
spookytime

From "do re mi" by blackbear feat. Gucci Mane
rachelm4212d382e

Getty Images

From "1-800-273-8255" by Logic
a4869fee1e

From "Rainbow" by Kesha
stephenp483a851f8

From "Bodak Yellow" by Cardi B
emmaczot

From "The Last of the Real Ones" by Fall Out Boy
gab1400

From "Palace" by Sam Smith
emmat47282e0a9

Getty Images

From "The Plan" by G-Eazy
myranda0698

From "Bodak Yellow" by Cardi B
lilianadelrey22

From "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo
smackgowan

From "What About Us" by P!nk
bab071403

From "The Village" by Wrabel
tannerwigglemueller023

From “New Rules” by Dua Lipa
elyshaf

Getty Images

From "So It Goes..." by Taylor Swift
mollyannm

From "Dog Years" by Maggie Rogers
laurenf40b35114f

From "Shot Down" by Khalid
triciamiller92

From "Two Ghosts" by Harry Styles
emilyd41b36b9de

From "Lemon" by N.E.R.D feat. Rihanna
scoob625

Getty Images

From "Praying" by Kesha
taylorswiftfangurl

From "Delicate" by Taylor Swift
emilyw4d233b81d

From "Wolves" by Selena Gomez & Marshmello
lullababy1021

From "Dirty Water" by Foo Fighters
alyssarg

From "You're Gonna Live Forever In Me" by John Mayer
meaghanschram

From "New Year’s Day" by Taylor Swift
emmam43a64a658

Getty Images

And here are all your fave 2017 lyrics on a playlist for ya. Happy New Year!!!

embed.spotify.com

For more Best of 2017 content, click here!

This list has school chaperones everywhere shaking.

"Too Close" by Next

"Too Close" by Next

The lyrics, "Baby, when we're grindin', I get so excited...Oh, you're dancin' real close, 'plus it's real, real slow/ You know you're makin' it hard for me," are literally what middle school dances are all about.

youtube.com

"Stand Up" by Ludacris feat. Shawna

"Stand Up" by Ludacris feat. Shawna

Ludacris is basically a potent grinding catalyst.

youtube.com

"Tipsy" by J-Kwon

"Tipsy" by J-Kwon

A bunch of teens singing about underage drinking surely made your seventh grade teachers feel great.

youtube.com

"Wait (The Whisper Song)" by the Ying Yang Twins

"Wait (The Whisper Song)" by the Ying Yang Twins

A bunch of teens making hissing sounds (like they were talking Parseltongue) and moaning noises also surely made your seventh grade teachers feel great.

youtube.com

"Still Fly" by Big Tymers

"Still Fly" by Big Tymers

Increased the demand for gator boots.

youtube.com

"Where The Party At?" by Jagged Edge

"Where The Party At?" by Jagged Edge

Literally had everyone shouting, "Where the party at? Uh ooooooooooooh/ Uh oh oh oh /Uh oooooooooh," as they awkwardly bumped into each other on the dance floor.

youtube.com

"Peaches and Cream" by 112

"Peaches and Cream" by 112

Invented peaches and cream long before Call Me By Your Name.

youtube.com

"Back That Azz Up" by Juvenile

"Back That Azz Up" by Juvenile

~Scientific fact~: Hearing the words, "Cash Money Records taking over for the '99 and the 2000" involuntarily made you shake your azz.

youtube.com

"Shake Ya Tailfeather" by P. Diddy, Nelly, and Murphy Lee

"Shake Ya Tailfeather" by P. Diddy, Nelly, and Murphy Lee

Had you moving around like you were playing Dance Dance Revolution.

youtube.com

"What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris feat. Shawna

"What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris feat. Shawna

Again, if you played Ludacris, the 14-year-olds would grind.

youtube.com

"Get Low" by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz

"Get Low" by Lil Jon &amp; The East Side Boyz

There is nothing more deafening than a group of teens screaming in a gymnasium:
"To the window, to the wall!
Til the sweat drop down my balls.
Til all these bitches crawl."

youtube.com

"Yeah!" by Usher

"Yeah!" by Usher

Nothing got everyone on the dance floor faster than hearing, "Peace up/ A-Town down."

youtube.com

"Pass That Dutch" by Missy Elliott

"Pass That Dutch" by Missy Elliott

Beat stronger than a Livestrong bracelet.

youtube.com

"In Da Club" by 50-Cent

"In Da Club" by 50-Cent

Lyrics and a beat as smooth as a Juicy Couture tracksuit.

youtube.com

"What's Luv?" by Fat Joe feat. Ashanti

"What's Luv?" by Fat Joe feat. Ashanti

Ashanti, like the ~lemon~ in Pepsi Twist, is the key ingredient in turning something good into something awesome (and in this case making a song grind-worthy).

youtube.com

"Get Busy" by Sean Paul

"Get Busy" by Sean Paul

This song probably smells like puberty, sweat, and cheap body mist.

youtube.com

"Temperature" by Sean Paul

"Temperature" by Sean Paul

As soon as you heard, "Well woman the way the time cold I wanna be keepin' you warm/ I got the right temperature for shelter you from the storm" you knew it was time to dip low.

youtube.com

"Lean Back" by Terror Squad feat. Fat Joe and Remy Ma

"Lean Back" by Terror Squad feat. Fat Joe and Remy Ma

A lot of awkward elbowing as everyone tried to grind and lean back on the dance floor.

youtube.com

"It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy ft. Rikrok

"It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy ft. Rikrok

Nothing said "U & Me = 4EVA" more than grinding with your middle school crush to Shaggy's ode to passing the peen around.

youtube.com

"Still D.R.E." by Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg

"Still D.R.E." by Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg

Dr. Dre had a lowrider. You had a tin can on wheels.

youtube.com

"Pony" by Ginuwine

"Pony" by Ginuwine

Nothing turned the dance floor at your high school into the ~champagne room~ faster than this song.

youtube.com

"My Neck, My Back" by Khia

"My Neck, My Back" by Khia

Introduced millions to ass-eating.

youtube.com

"Magic Stick" by Lil' Kim feat. 50-Cent

"Magic Stick" by Lil' Kim feat. 50-Cent

Introduced millions to "magic clits."

Atlantic Records

"Get It Poppin" by Fat Joe and Nelly

"Get It Poppin" by Fat Joe and Nelly

The third song at almost every school dance.

youtube.com

"Freak Like Me" by Adina Howard

"Freak Like Me" by Adina Howard

An anthem that made it OK to want to get down and freaky (even if you were a virgin with no prospects of having sex anytime soon).

youtube.com

"Are You That Somebody" by Aaliyah

"Are You That Somebody" by Aaliyah

A perennial classic from a gorgeous angel.

youtube.com

"Motivation" by Kelly Rowland feat. Lil Wayne

"Motivation" by Kelly Rowland feat. Lil Wayne

I think about this lyric a lot: "I turn that thing into a rain-forest/ Rain on my head, call that brainstorming."

youtube.com

"There It Go (The Whistle Song)" by Juelz Santana

"There It Go (The Whistle Song)" by Juelz Santana

Just reading the title of this song gets the whistle stuck in my head.

youtube.com

"I Know What You Want" by Busta Rhymes and Mariah Carey

"I Know What You Want" by Busta Rhymes and Mariah Carey

An underrated Mariah gem.

youtube.com

"Oye Me Canto" by Nina Sky and Daddy Yankee

"Oye Me Canto" by Nina Sky and Daddy Yankee

*Drops it low while singing "woahhhh, woahhh ohhhh."

youtube.com

"Gasolina" by Daddy Yankee

"Gasolina" by Daddy Yankee

Lit up every suburban cul-de-sac with reggaeton.

youtube.com

"My Humps" by The Black Eyed Peas

"My Humps" by The Black Eyed Peas

Arguably the weirdest/worst lyrics of all-time that had all middle schoolers shaking their milky milky cocoa?

youtube.com

"Hot In Herre" by Nelly

"Hot In Herre" by Nelly

OK, so "Hot In Herre" didn't create grinding, but I think we can all agree this is its official anthem.

youtube.com

"No Diggity" by Blackstreet

"No Diggity" by Blackstreet

No doubt.

youtube.com

And here's the playlist:

embed.spotify.com

20 Songs You Couldn't Get Out Of Your Head In 1998

by Kimberley Dadds

We’ve now been blessed with two whole decades of Britney Spears.

"...Baby One More Time" – Britney Spears

"...Baby One More Time" – Britney Spears

Classic lyric: "Hit me, baby, one more time..."

Jive

"Stop" – Spice Girls

"Stop" – Spice Girls

Classic lyric: "Stop right now thank you very much / I need somebody with a human touch / Hey you always on the run / Gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun."

Virgin

"The Boy is Mine" – Brandy and Monica

"The Boy is Mine" – Brandy and Monica

Classic lyric: "I'm sorry that you / Seem to be confused / He belongs to me / The boy is mine."

Atlantic

"Gettin' Jiggy wit It" – Will Smith

"Gettin' Jiggy wit It" – Will Smith

Classic lyric: "Gettin jiggy wit it / Na na na na na na na nana / Na na na na nana / Gettin jiggy wit it…"

Columbia

"I Don't Want To Miss a Thing" – Aerosmith

"I Don't Want To Miss a Thing" – Aerosmith

Classic lyric: "Don't want to close my eyes / I don't want to fall asleep / 'Cause I'd miss you baby / And I don't want to miss a thing…"

Columbia

"Ray of Light" – Madonna

"Ray of Light" – Madonna

Classic lyric: "Zephyr in the sky at night I wonder / Do my tears of mourning sink beneath the sun."

Maverick

"Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are)" – Pras, featuring Ol' Dirty Bastard and Mýa

"Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are)" – Pras, featuring Ol' Dirty Bastard and Mýa

Classic lyric: "Ghetto supastar / That is what you are / Coming from afar / Reaching for the stars / Run away with me to another place..."

Interscope

"Chocolate Salty Balls" – Isaac Hayes

"Chocolate Salty Balls" – Isaac Hayes

Classic lyric: "Oooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls / Stick 'em in your mouth, and suck 'em!"

Columbia/Viacom

"C'est la Vie" – B*Witched

"C'est la Vie" – B*Witched

Classic lyric: "Say you will, say you won't / Say you'll do what I don't / Say you're true, say to me, 'C'est la vie'."

Epic

"Believe" – Cher

"Believe" – Cher

Classic lyric: "Do you believe in life after love?"

Warner Bros

"One Week" – Barenaked Ladies

"One Week" – Barenaked Ladies

Classic lyric: "It's been one week since you looked at me / Cocked your head to the side / and said I'm angry."

Reprise

"Cleopatra's Theme" – Cleopatra

"Cleopatra's Theme" – Cleopatra

Classic lyric: "Cleopatra comin' atcha."

Maverick Records

"You're Still the One" – Shania Twain

"You're Still the One" – Shania Twain

Classic lyric: "You're still the one I run to / The one that I belong to..."

Mercury Nashville

"Big Mistake" – Natalie Imbruglia

Classic lyric: "You forgotten / How it started / Close your eyes / Think of all the bubbles of love we made."

RCA

"Let Me Entertain You" – Robbie Williams

"Let Me Entertain You" – Robbie Williams

Classic lyric: "Life's too short for you to die / So grab yourself an alibi / Heaven knows your mother lied / Mon cher."

Chrysalis

"Gone till November" – Wyclef Jean

"Gone till November" – Wyclef Jean

Classic lyric: "So I'll be gone 'til November / Said I'll be gone 'til November, I'll be gone 'til November / Yo, tell my girl, yo, I'll be gone 'til November."

Columbia

"Freak Me" – Another Level

"Freak Me" – Another Level

Classic lyric: "Let me lick you up and down till you say stop / Let me play with your body, baby, make you real hot."

Northwestside

"Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)" – Jay-Z

"Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)" – Jay-Z

Classic lyric: "It's the hard knock life, for us / It's the hard knock life, for us!"

Def Jam

"Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" – Backstreet Boys

"Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" – Backstreet Boys

Classic lyric: "Everybody (Yeah) / Rock your body (Yeah)…"

Jive

"Goodbye" – Spice Girls

"Goodbye" – Spice Girls

Classic lyric: "Goodbye my friend / I know you're gone, you said you're gone / But I can still feel you here..."

Virgin

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